The Block. The Flow.
This morning, before I got out of bed, I stared at my phone until my eyeballs dried out and started hurting from staring.
I wasn’t looking at anything.
I was looking for something, but not at something.
I was looking for some motivation to engage in this day…
This amazing day. This day I’m outstandingly blessed to have. This day where I’m in the company of friends and family who love me, where I share love with my soulmate and our sweet canine friends, where I’m walking distance to incredible coffee, where I’m enjoying an abundance of opportunities and experiences, where I’m living in arguably one of the most incredible times to be alive, where I have a business of people who believe in what they do, where we are serving people I truly love.
This day where everything is for me and nothing is against me.
Certainly, I am facing some personal headwinds: My family is having some challenges that I can’t share without betraying the privacy of those involved. Our business is in a precarious point. Always. I’m professionally at a crossroads — interested in writing (here we are), interested in consulting, interested in lots of things… but Outlaw and family obligations require all my time. It leaves little time for exploration or play. And even if I did have time for play, resources are scarce. Everything goes into the commitments we have made, almost without even realizing we were making them.
Almost every morning, I open my eyes excited, and then the “have to”s set in…
It wasn’t like this four months ago.
My dad had just died and I was in a weird no-fly-zone of total blankness. I stopped working. I started doing anything that sounded interesting. I started a podcast, for pete’s sake! And that wasn’t work, because it was fun! But now I am back to the various “have to”s.
This morning, as I pondered how much longer I could stare at my phone or the ceiling or the pillow, I decided to pray that God would work through me. I decided to be in the Truth that all things are perfect, and anything that appears imperfect is just my imperfect eyes regarding perfection.
I decided to have faith that I might clear my vision and see the perfection, if I only trusted in the perfection enough to let go of my protective glasses that were distorting my view.
Today ended up being a wonderful day of support, love, and connection. I feel so blessed to have seen the Truth and returned to the flow.
